The Gas Bubble Boomerang

by James R. Aist

This true story took place when my family was living in north-central Arkansas, near Batesville. I was in junior high school and had just sat down at the kitchen table one evening to finish my homework. The house was quiet, except for the sound of the TV in the next room, and I was alone in the kitchen.

Once I had become deeply focused on the lesson before me, I realized that I needed to pass a bit of gas, so I made sure the coast was clear and let go a rather small, silent bubble, nothing to brag about. I felt the bubble slip slowly up my lower back toward my waist and thought that to be a little strange. Well, what happened next was entirely unexpected. Just as I had felt the gas bubble move upward, it paused briefly and slipped right back down to where it had come from. I just shook it off as, perhaps, my imagination. After all, it was late and I was feeling pretty sleepy. A few minutes went by, and I felt the need to pass some more gas. But this time, I had thought about it some more and was going to pay more attention. Would the gas bubble turn around again and go back to where it came from? Out came the gas bubble, up it went, paused, and then, right back down again. Beginning to get alarmed, I said to myself, “Self, that just ain’t right, and you better look into this pronto, ’cause there may just be somethin’ going on down there that you need to know about!”

So, in a panic, I jumped up from my chair, checked to see if the coast was clear, quickly dropped my pants and saw one of those little black, fuzzy spiders fall into my whitie tidies and crawl away! When I had pulled up my pants and regained my composure, I allowed that if I had been the spider, I would have bailed out too!

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